I first saw this game on www.wiremod.com 's forums, and since I've been seeding it on every single forum I am registered with.

Okay, here's how it works;

You put something into the machine, and the next person tells you what you get, then puts something else into the machine. Then it repeats.

Example;
I put in an apple pie.
[NEXT POST]
You get fourteen socks back.

I put in a melon.
[NEXT POST]
You get some mountain dew in a rusty can.

I put in...

And so on.

Okay, here goes:

I put in a green wellington boot.

You get a blue wellington boot.
You are very displeased since blue is not your favorite colour.

I put in a coin.

You get back a bunch of bananas, each their very own changealbe accessories! You always wanted a My Little Banana doll.

I stuff a garbage can in.

The garbage can is emptied, and its contents are spewed back at you.
You love it to bits.

I put in my hand.

Your have your fingernails painted pink, and the machine ejects your hand out again. Everyone around thinks that you are a homosexual because you suddenly wear pink fingernails. You are angry with the machine because you expected it to tear your hand apart.

I put in SpongeBob.

A constant noise fills the air..."I'm READY! I'm READY! I'm READY! I'm READY! I'm READY! I'm READY! I'm READY! I'm READY! I'm READY! I'm READY! I'm READY! I'm READY! I'm READY! I'm READY! I'm READY! I'm READY! I'm READY! I'm READY!"

It doesn't stop.

I put in Patrick, for company.

Squidward comes rushing out in his nightgown and cap, screaming like a little girl as he wonders when (or if) the torture will ever end.

I put in a T.V.

You get a sattelite.
Now you regret using up your TV.

I put in a Vending Machine Of Incredible Power.

You get a TIME PARADOX.

I put in a potato.

You get a turtle. You wonder if the turtle is either mashable, boilable, or a good ingredient for a stew.

I put in a box of stupidity.

You get a working computer, with the Team17 Forum on the screen. ;)

I put in a meteorite.

The time paradox brings about the fact that you didn't put a meteorite in. Regardless, you do so anyway and get hit in the face by a comet.

I squeeze an elephant in there.

The time paradox brings about the fact that you didn't put a meteorite in. Regardless, you do so anyway and get hit in the face by a comet.

I squeeze an elephant in there.

The vending machine starts to play Weebl's "Kenya" song.

I put in a Wiimote.

A hand with the number 1 in red on it comes out and prods your innards, before waving around at you then throwing you into a drug-fuelled japanese cartoony freakish thing from WarioWare.

I toss a dwarf in.

A hand with the number 1 in red on it comes out and prods your innards, before waving around at you then throwing you into a drug-fuelled japanese cartoony freakish thing from WarioWare.

I toss a dwarf in.

You get the Sword of 1000 Truths.

I insert an Underscore "_"

You get a line "-"
I put my head in.

MAPLESTORY CLOTHES SPILL EVERYWHERE, THE WORLD IS TRANSFORMÉD, AND EVERYTHING HAS HP. And also, the forum becomes Henesys.

I stuff this forum/henesys in, and brace myself for the worst.

EDIT2:
I stuff this forum/henesys in, and brace myself for the worst.

You get two Red Snails and a Ribbon pig.

I insert my whole body.

You hear;
*GRISTLEGRISTLEGRISTLE SCRAAAAAAAAPE ERARGH AGHHH*glup* DHJSDAAEARR CHOCOLATECAKE AARRGH SOCKS ORG ORG IG AKI GLUP ORLGE PHEEEJ*
In short, your whole body comes out covered with ominous green drool on it.

I shovel the ominous green drool in.

MAPLESTORY CLOTHES SPILL EVERYWHERE, THE WORLD IS TRANSFORMÉD, AND EVERYTHING HAS HP. And also, the forum becomes Henesys.

I stuff this forum/henesys in, and brace myself for the worst.

Nevermind, continue with Oft's.

In short, your whole body comes out covered with ominous green drool on it.

I shovel the ominous green drool in.

You get puked at by the machine.

I insert this post.

I insert this post.
You get a vacumn cleaner.
5 bucks to anyone that gets this one

You get a vacumn cleaner.
5 bucks to anyone that gets this one

You didn't write what you insert afterwards in that post.

Since you put in nothing, you get everything out. EVERYTHING IN THE UNIVERSE HURLS ITSELF OUT OF THERE, even itself hurling itself's everything into the everything that it is spewing out.
The universe collapses.
The Supreme Being blows it up like a football again, and it is restored.

I put in this garglemesh:
:mad::cool::rolleyes:;)

I put in this garglemesh:
:mad::cool::rolleyes:;)
There is no emoticon that describes what came out.

I put in said undescribable-by-smiley object(s).

You didn't write what you insert afterwards in that post.
That's because I didn't quite know how to insert a vacumn into something.

The said-undescribable-smiley makes a sound similar to the ghost of a refried bean, and then, it undescribably turns and undescribable colour, undescribably becoming so undescribable that description iself collapses.

You get a ()()() sock back. The sock is ()()() in colour. My descriptions are dead! They've gone all ()()() and ()()().

I put in a ()()(), ()()(), ()()() lump of goo.

You put in the lump of goo, and a small box of regular green goo pops out.
*YOU RECEIVE ITEM: BOX OF GOO*

I put in a slice of bread.

You put in the lump of goo, and a small box of regular green goo pops out.
*YOU RECEIVE ITEM: BOX OF GOO*

I put in a slice of bread.

You get a candle stick.

I put in Mickey Mouse.

You recieve a glass. The glass has some water in it, but you cannot decide if it is half full or half empty. You then leave, unable to decide. You later curse your indecisiveness as it starts to affect you in life.

I insert a metaphor into the machine.

you get a response that compares you with something not exactly desirable

i put in a worm
:p

you get a response that compares you with something not exactly desirable

i put in a worm
:p

You get a snail.

I insert HuntaKilla.

You get a projectile of spit launched at you.

I insert a coin.

*TADADADAAAAAAAAAA*
You got a heart container!
Your life and energy has increased
by one and been fully
replenished!

I insert a grenade.

You get a grenade explosion and your face becomes distorted into something that would not be compared favorably to a hippopotamus. You see your reflection in a mirror which maliciously stuck itself out of the vending machine and you scream in horror. You run down the street back to your house, people pointing and laughing at you as you do. When you get there, you decide the only way you can possibly live with yourself is by becoming a drug addict, smoker, and alcoholic all at once. Despite words of caution from your family on how it probably isn't the best idea you've ever had, you stick all these things in a blender and force down your throat. A few involuntary muscle spasms later, and you blow chunks onto the cat, who leaps into the kitchen and washes itself in the sink. This causes the water to become infected with ten different deadly diseases, and your family all die when they each have a drink to try and rid themselves of the headache brought about by your ramblings of anguish. One of said family members falls onto the cat who was on the floor drying himself and crushes him into pieces. You walk into the kitchen and scream once again as you see everyone dead, then steal all their money and credit cards and go live in a mansion in Canada. You find a beautiful wife and have three kids together. But years later, while walking down the street, the local pervert from where you used to live flies over just to make fun of your face - which you had completely forgotten about - and the crushing despair comes flooding back. You start slitting your wrists and writing poems about hating life, but then Morgan Freeman appears and sits you down to have a talk about how things could always be worse. You thank him for making everything better and he winks and flies off into the sky leaving behind a trail of colored sparkles. You go back to the mansion only to discover the pervert has in fact murdered your wife and kids and set fire to the building. He makes fun of your face again then runs out, while you search desperately for the pet budgie. Unfortunately you're too slow and burn to death. However, thousands of years later you and the budgies ashes are found and resurrected by aliens. Upon seeing your face they recoil in disgust and put you in a cage at the zoo to be laughed at for all eternity, while the budgie uses its evil powers to become ruler of the entire universe.

I put in a paperclip.

KABOOOM! The Machine Blows up. Thankfully, it's randomness created a rip in the space time continum and through the hole falls an identical vending machine.

I put the fragments of the old one in the new one.

KABOOOM! The Machine Blows up. Thankfully, it's randomness created a rip in the space time continum and through the hole falls an identical vending machine.

I put the fragments of the old one in the new one.

You get another TIME PARADOX.

I insert a copy of Pokemon Diamond.

Wild ROBOWURMZ appeared!
Go OFT!
OFT uses FORUM POST!
Wild ROBOWURMZ is confused!
The ROBOWURMZ hurts itself in its confusion.
ASH used POKÉBALL!
Wild ROBOWURMZ was captured!
*doot doo do ding*

I throw a Nintendo Customer Support Operator in.

You get a quantum singularity.

I put my underwear.

A block of cheese flies out and hits you on the head.

I put the cheese in.

Wow, page 2 on the first day. I can see this going far.

The same block of cheese flies out and hits you in the eye.
The machine says: "Are you completely thick? I thought I could not have made it clearer that I hate cheese."

I put in a cheese.

You get a pot filled with fondue.

i insert a Blu-Ray disc

The machine sez: "Do I look like a friggin' Blu-ray player to you?!"

...

"I play only DVDs."

I put in a miniature resin figure of Luke Skywalker.

A horrible sound identical of that to a pound of raw flesh hitting a helicopter rotor going at 30000000000000 rpm comes out. A spray of diced raw flesh hits you in the face.

I grab the little chunks, and throw them, ninja-style, into the machine.

A horrible sound identical of that to a pound of raw flesh hitting a helicopter rotor going at 30000000000000 rpm comes out. A spray of diced raw flesh hits you in the face.

I grab the little chunks, and throw them, ninja-style, into the machine.

I said it was a resin figurine. Not the real human thing.
But you're welcome to carve him up as well, because I don't really care for him anymore now that he is so old.

The little chunks are turned back into Mark Hamill, and he jumps out of the machine.

I grab some of his hair and put them in.

Surprisingly, intead of getting a clone of him, you get a clone of yourself.

I insert a "Ñ"

You get a stick figure with an average life spam of 3 minutes.

I insert a cardboad Marzipan.

You get a stick figure with an average life spam of 3 minutes.

I insert a cardboad Marzipan.

you get a sk8 board with wings

i put in a grain of rice seasoned with pepper

You get a sushi,you are just going to eat it,when you notice that you just found Nemo.

I spit in it.

And Tal,it's "Skate".

The machine spits out, um, just that; spit

I insert Tal.

The machine spits out, um, just that; spit

I insert Tal.
You get some "ppl", whatever that means.

CHARMANDER USES LEER ON VENDING MACHINE

The VENDING MACHINE'S DEFENSE greatly fell!

I shovel in 133 tons of coal.

The machine spits out a used condom, wrapped around a man's hat filled with prumejuice.

You run away in tears...

The VENDING MACHINE'S DEFENSE greatly fell!

I shovel in 133 tons of coal.

The machine regurgitates some greenhouse gasses.

You insert a can of Red Bull.

EDIT: too late damnit.

The machie grows wings, flys away, and returns with a hawaian shirt and smells like cheap liquor.

I toss in my laptop

A puppy pops out and walks away. You wonder why on earth you threw in your laptop anyway.

And Oft, that's the second time in a row you skipped someone!

I insert a half-eaten cake that has, written in icing on the top, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY KELSTER and superblob too!".

The machine rocks violentley, stabbing you in the eye with a sharp part, suddenly, some porn drops out.

You are happy you got porn AND cake!

i insert a fist of fury

the machine gives me a yet non existent insult which i choose to keep within my mind and not to shove in someones face...

i think you should stop the cocky comments

I insert the inter-web.

i insert a fist of fury

the machine gives me a yet non existent insult which i choose to keep within my mind and not to shove in someones face...

i think you should stop the cocky comments
And I think you should stop replying to your own inserting.

I insert the inter-web.


You get a pop-up in you face.

I pour some Cilit Bang into the machine.

you get a bag of WIN.

I insert Tal's left foot.

A worm on a jet pack comes out and starts dropping holy hand grenades into the water. He doesn't realize that he dropped one after he was dispensed, and it explodes on you.

I insert an airline boarding pass, a spoonful of mashed potato, and a cookie.

Plainplane :)

you get a half eaten cookie

i insert metal alex's eye balls

Where the f[udge] did you get your hands on his eyeballs?
The machine steals the eyes and uses them as his own. He's giving you a strange look, and you run like hell in the opposite direction.

I put in your glass shoe, which you lost while running.

Where the f[udge] did you get your hands on his eyeballs?
The machine steals the eyes and uses them as his own. He's giving you a strange look, and you run like hell in the opposite direction.

I put in your glass shoe, which you lost while running.

it gives you the finger

i put in your rather small hands

The machine display shows the numbers: "4 8 15 16 23 42"

Suddenly a timer kicks in starting from 108 minutes... you are officialy "lost"

I toss in a banana and shoe polish

The machine display shows the numbers: "4 8 15 16 23 42"

Suddenly a timer kicks in starting from 108 minutes... you are officialy "lost"

I toss in a banana and shoe polish

it gives you a polished banana

i throw in the dvd hot fuzz and a bottle of warm pepsi

The machine give out a short *BEEP* and hands you a YouTube link:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=S5hdUaIfk7Q

The display says "Eric Prydz Rulez!"

The machine give out a short *BEEP* and hands you a YouTube link:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=S5hdUaIfk7Q

The display says "Eric Prydz Rulez!"

it gives you a hand shake

i insert this link http://youtube.com/watch?v=K-2iwGeZ2O4 (this ones actually good!)

The machine hates you now. You get a cupful of pointy needles to the face.

You receive nothing. You didn't put anything in and nothing is free in this world.

I insert a shiny bottle cap.

You receive nothing. You didn't put anything in and nothing is free in this world.

I insert a shiny bottle cap.

you get a glass bottle of iron-bru

i insert a piece of coal

you get a glass bottle of iron-bru

i insert a piece of coal

You get some Carbon Dioxide in your face.

I insert a lightsaber.

You get some Carbon Dioxide in your face.

I insert a lightsaber.

you get a duel ended lightsaber

i insert darth maul

you get a duel ended lightsaber

i insert darth maul

The machine turns to the dark side.

I insert a World of Warcraft collector's edition disc.

The machine turns to the dark side.

I insert a World of Warcraft collector's edition disc.

the machine machine has a baby

i insert a laptop

You get an old computer that has 18 viruses

I insert my worms 4 game (and then ask myself why I did that)

You get an old computer that has 18 viruses

I insert my worms 4 game (and then ask myself why I did that)

you get 4 worms games back because the machine wonders why you put something as valuable as that in

i insert a an oversized elephant

Superblob stops you before you can, saying something about not wasting food.

I insert a Dilbert cartoon.

Superblob stops you before you can, saying something about not wasting food.

I insert a Dilbert cartoon.

the machine gives you a blank sketch book

i insert a random worm

it gives you the finger

i put in your rather small hands

Stupid n00b thing to do #156: Do not tell people about their small heads, eyes, legs, arms or other body parts as you have never seen them, and you are not in a position to tell whether it is small or not.

And for your information, my hands are normally sized.

The worm is turned into spaghetti, and you get the spaghetti back out, and you eat it.

I put in Scooby Doo.
Now give this thread a rest, will you Tal?

I put in Scooby Doo.
Now give this thread a rest, will you Tal?

You get a slipper that has been poo'ed in.

I insert Stewie Griffin from Family Guy.

You get a slipper that has been poo'ed in.

I insert Stewie Griffin from Family Guy.

you get bark simpson

i insert a flying pig


(nugget, when i said small hands i meant the hands in your old avatar, which you had at the time :p end of )

you get a levitating sparerib.

I insert a 404'd webpage.

you get a levitating sparerib.

I insert a 404'd webpage.

you get a inflatable scouser

i insert a ak47

you get a inflatable scouser

i insert a ak47

You get a Frag.

I insert a pair of Epic Mail Shoulderpads with +10 strength, +7 agility and +5 defense skill.

You get a Frag.

I insert a pair of Epic Mail Shoulderpads with +10 strength, +7 agility and +5 defense skill.

you get a knight in shining armour

i insert excalibur

It spits it back and your heart is tragically impaled. News reporters from around the globe gather, speak news with cameras watching them and then move on. A lone piece of dust settles on your now dead corpse. And then you get resurrected.

I put your now-zombified body in the machine, in the hope that that isn't a headcrab in there.

It spits it back and your heart is tragically impaled. News reporters from around the globe gather, speak news with cameras watching them and then move on. A lone piece of dust settles on your now dead corpse. And then you get resurrected.

I put your now-zombified body in the machine, in the hope that that isn't a headcrab in there.

it throws back a comment sayin "how could you do such a thing to a fello scotsman!!??"

i insert glasgow

And, in the Machine's broadest Doric,

"Phit are ye daein ye sassenach? Ye wee bauchle, ye! I'll fettle ye! Aye, ye eejit! I'll knoack yer bloody block off, aye ah will! Phit's a' this aboout sporrans onywey? I nivver weear the things, they tickle me near aboot tae death!"

And then, promptly, you get hit in the face "wi' a weet clootie ba'"!

And so ends the tale of Tal05 and the Scottish Vending Machine.

I put in a jar of pickled eggs.

The machine does nothing for a while, than starts making chompy sounds.

An empty jar flies out and shatters into a thousand pieces.

The machine burps.

I insert 10 infraction points

The machine is set to a 'Being Watched' status, and is angry with you. He gives you a really dirty look with Metal Alex's eyes.

I put in the population of China.

The machine shudders and spits out a riced toyota with 45" rims, a ten foot high spoiler, a bodykit with a front bumper that can cut off a man's ankles and more stickers than you find on a childs lunch box.

I toss in a cigar.

I toss in a cigar.

Smoke starts coming out of the machine.

I throw in a nickel.

You recieve an old copy of The Communist Manifesto dating back to the mid 1800s.
This random item confuses you, none the less, curiosity gets the better of you and you try to read the ancient document...

But then you realise you can't read German.


I arrive later and insert an English-German phrasebook into the Vending Machine, much to your annoyance.

I arrive later and insert an English-German phrasebook into the Vending Machine, much to your annoyance.

The machine starts cussing at you in German.

I put in a gumball.

The machine starts cussing at you in German.

I put in a gumball.

HDHDHD IS PARALYZIED!
HE MAY NOT BE ABLE TO MOVE!

I insert a fax.

You get a mountain of billions of blank papers.

I put in Satan.

You get a stick of dynamite that has been lit. It will explode in 5 seconds.

I put in a blank USB flash drive.

Plainplane :)

"Graaaaka vtt vttt dun dun dun."

It pops back out, now written full of useless txt files.

In goes a Combine Elite.

Out comes a hail of bullets, each one hitting you in the chest. Laughs insured.
YOU ARE DEAD!
Your score: -40 of 150

I insert a helmet.

You get a Adhesive Medical Strip.

I insert VICTORY.

And get back some LOSE.
YOU ARE DEAD.
Your Score; 0 of 2500.
Grandad would've described you as a wally.

Play again? Y/N _

I put in a Y.

And get back some LOSE.
YOU ARE DEAD.
Your Score; 0 of 2500.
Grandad would've described you as a wally.

Play again? Y/N _

I put in a Y.

You get a flyin hippo

i insert a football

You get an angry wife. (Fear her mighty rolling pin!)

In goes a paint brush.

You get an angry wife. (Fear her mighty rolling pin!)

In goes a paint brush.

you get the monalisa

i put in a coach

i put in a coach

You hear the numbers 4, 32, 19, and 67.
You then get trampled by football players.

I squeeze in a hot tub.

You hear the numbers 4, 32, 19, and 67.
You then get trampled by football players.

I squeeze in a hot tub.

Your "Comfort" level increases.

I insert someone else's dog.

A sim dies of loneliness.

I put in a Lemming.

I put in a Lemming.

Melon pops out.

I put in a paper plane.

You get a Jumbo, whose turbine sucks you in.

I put that turbine in.

You get a Jumbo, whose turbine sucks you in.

I put that turbine in.

You get Syndrome from "The Incredibles"

I insert a Greater Health Potion.

You get a greater mana potion.
Pity you don't know any magic.

I insert magic.

And you level up. Your STR has increased by 5.

I put in a Great Enchanted Battle Axe.

I put in a Great Enchanted Battle Axe.
You get a magical emblem, the Golden Axe.
Unfortunately, your axe gets stolen by Darth Vader. ...er, I mean Death Adder.

I insert a PM box.

Private Messages: Unread ∞, Total ∞.

Oops. A division by zero led to an infinity and...

Universe.exe has encountered a problem and needs to close. We are sorry for the inconvenience. Click here to send an error report to God.

The universe is double-clicked on again, and it starts back up, continuing from the last autosave point.

I put a forum post in.

The machine explodes into cans of spam, one of the cans contains a new vending machine of incredible power, I open it and toss in a set of headphones.

The Universe if filled with a single sound, and then...the song that began everything....

IT'S PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME! PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME! PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME! WAAY-YA WAAY-YA WAAY-YA WAAY-YA NOW THERE YA GO NOW THERE YA GO NOW THERE YA GO PEANUT BUTTER JELLLLY PEANUT BUTTER JELLLY! DO THE PEANUTBUTTERJELLY PEANUTBUTTERJELLY PEANUTBUTTERJELLY WITH A BASEBALLBAT!

I put a dancing banana with a catchy tune in.

The machine laughs and gives you back the banana!

I toss in some dirty socks

You recieve a clean long-sleeved shirt.
You try it on, but discover it's far too small for your rather impressive build. You run away crying.

I insert an empty ink cartridge.

You get hit in the face by the dirty socks.

I put in a white and red bobble hat.

The Universe if filled with a single sound, and then...the song that began everything....

IT'S PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME! PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME! PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME! WAAY-YA WAAY-YA WAAY-YA WAAY-YA NOW THERE YA GO NOW THERE YA GO NOW THERE YA GO PEANUT BUTTER JELLLLY PEANUT BUTTER JELLLY! DO THE PEANUTBUTTERJELLY PEANUTBUTTERJELLY PEANUTBUTTERJELLY WITH A BASEBALLBAT!

I put a dancing banana with a catchy tune in.
I've only just found out that the Tauren Male dance in World of Warcraft is based on the Banana dance.
You get hit in the face by the dirty socks.

I put in a white and red bobble hat.

You get a Sleigh pulled by flying reindeer.

I insert Pigbuster's "ENTER A NAME" game.

The machine givs you all the secret messages plus the explanation of the code, but it's written in Danish...

I throw in a HAMBURGLAR!!!

You get a pet cow, which gives you an infinate supply of milk.

I put in a tree.

Plainplane :)

(YAY! A COW!)

You get a lifetime supply of printing paper.

You get an oxygen tank, because you put nothing in.

I put in a desktop computer.

Plainplane :)

You get Half Life 2... now you regret having put the desktop.

I put a xilophone.

You get a vortex.
I put in... an alarm clock.

You get a fire alarm. It is deafening.

I insert a cup of grape juice.

Plainplane :)

You insert the grape juice. You get a real live grape! You eat it as soon as you get it, ignoring it's cries of "are you my momma?"

You consider why on earth you put in a cup of grape juice in the machine instead of that $1.50 it was asking for. Looks like you'll never get your can of Diet Coke now.

I insert Spongebob.

You get a pack of sponges.

I insert $1.50.

Plainplane :)

You get nothing. The Vending Machine just ripped you off.

I insert my Pen...cil.

:p

And you get a slap in the face.

I put in an Ipod.

I put in an Ipod.

The machine looks at you woth Metal Alex's eyes and says, " Thank you."

I put in a magazine.

And get a crumpled one back. People never look after things when you lend them stuff.

I put in a book.

And get a crumpled one back. People never look after things when you lend them stuff.

I put in a book.

You get the book back, but it now has three times as many pages.

I insert an Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device.
now you are thinking with portals

The machine keeps it, but he doesn't know what it is. It sounds useful, he thinks.

I insert a horcrux (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Horcrux) of mine, in the form of a hairless, rabies-infected dog.

You get rabies back.

I put this guy in: :rolleyes:

You get a hard-boiled egg.

I insert a laser gun.

The vending machine shudders, turns black and shouts "IMMA CHARGIN' MA LAZER!!!" a loud "charging" noise is heard and moments later a blue/white ray of lazer shoots across the room, followed by a shout "SHOOOP DA WOOOOP!"

The room is cut in half and you are cold. The machine makes a 'PSHHHHHHHHHH' sound and smokes a little.

I throuw in a pot of cillit bang!

You get a pot of pea soup.

I insert a penny because the machine had previously ripped me off.

Plainplane :)

The machine continues to rip you off. That was not one of your brighter ideas...

I insert a rip in the space-time continuom.

The game ends.

I insert nothing.

Plainplane :)

And you get the ULTIMATE FANDANGO! And 2 cans of coke, just to annoy you further, because you get all this for nothing, and nothing for $1.51.
I stuff your jetpack in.

The machine jets away.
I put a bomb in.

The machine jets away.
I put a bomb in.

The machine explodes (Duh?)

I insert a chav.

You recieve no chav jokes. In fact, you recieve nothing at all.

I insert a vacuum protected by a glass ball.

You recieve no chav jokes. In fact, you recieve nothing at all.

I insert a vacuum protected by a glass ball.

You get some random thing made in Garry's Mod.

I put in an emo.

You get another forum game that I'm going to have to subscribe to even though I'll probably never visit this thread again.

I put in a lump of banana flavored pudding.

It spits out a planet, which, before it destroys us, turns orange and then disappears in a taupe-coloured gas that makes everyone turn blue.

I put a jar of the gas in.

The machine coughs the jar back out, wich is now broke.
Now you have turned blue.

I insert a plain white T-shirt.

You get a tye-dye t-shirt.

I put in the blue key.

You get the blue screen of doom because Quake won't run on your computer. (complete guess)

I put in a basket.

The basket is returned full of cute baby-sized outfits. ;)

I put in my head.

The basket is returned full of cute baby-sized outfits. ;)

I put in my head.

Your head gets stuck and you get nothing in return. ( >:D )
I put in "∞".

You get this back;
∞*∞ = ∞∞. ∞∞ * ∞∞∞∞ = ∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞*∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞
∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞
∞
∞∞
∞∞/0 =
∞∞∞
∞∞
∞∞
∞∞
∞∞∞∞
∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞
∞∞∞
and then it burns out.

I get a new one in a pack of frosties. I insert the frosties one by one.

You get back some Wheaties. It dispenses them at you one at a time.

I put in the red key.

You recieve the Blue Key Card.

I insert the piexellated Gold Key.

Gold door opens!
Inside you find infinity vending machines!

I put in a lego.

Gold door opens!
Inside you find infinity vending machines!

I put in a lego.

You get lego star wars

I insert a dual ended lightsaber

You get lego star wars

I insert a dual ended lightsaber

You get a guy wearing a black robe with a face full of red paint and multiple spikes on his head.

I insert the Philosipher's Stone.

And you get Harry Spotter; The Philosopher's Mole back.
I shove a cake with cheese sprinkles in.

The machine burps.

Insert: One orange key.

Out comes the grand prize: a flight ticket to the bermuda triangle!

I insert a box o' detergent.

Out comes the grand prize: a flight ticket to the bermuda triangle!

I insert a box o' detergent.

The machine sprays a sweet-smelling but toxic gas at you. You die.

I insert my tongue.

It gets stuck and is agonizingly painful.

I insert The End

It gets stuck and is agonizingly painful.

I insert The End

You get the letter "d"

I insert the number 42.

You hope to get the Ultimate Question itself...instead, you get Arthur Dent and a cup of tea.

I put in that cup of tea.

you get the RED key back, turn around and notice the sing saying 'to get out of this room, you need the YELLOW key'. You let out a big "D'OH!" and kick the machine. You are stuck in the room.

Try again? (Y/N) _


I insert MacOS X

you get the RED key back, turn around and notice the sing saying 'to get out of this room, you need the YELLOW key'. You let out a big "D'OH!" and kick the machine. You are stuck in the room.

Try again? (Y/N) _


I insert MacOS X

You get an iPod that doesn't work.

I insert a Sony PSP.

you get a shiny blu-ray video-game-disc playing black box-like thingy

i insert such box
:p

You get a link to an anti PS3 video.
However, that link doesn't appear in this post. Stay tuned though!



I insert the universe. (don't ask me how)

You get a cheese with cake sprinkles out. And edible ball bearings ("Genius").

I insert the soundtrack from Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (Mega Drive version)

You get the "Invincible Stars" powerup, and the tune plays repeatedly until it runs out.

I insert my edited version of Sonic 2, Sonic DeepFreeze. (See some screenies on my robowurmz.photobucket.com )

You get a watered down copy of Sonic 3D and a boater.

I insert a can of coke.

You get a watered down copy of Sonic 3D and a boater.

I insert a can of coke.

Bubbles start to pour out of the machine and it starts to shake, as if it's about to explode.
You run away.

I insert Bowser.

You get 50p.

I insert a used tissue.

A bolt of lightning hits the machine, and out pops Giga Browser.
You can't help but wonder what kind of machine would turn a tissue into a monster.

I insert a gay bee.

You get a donkey ride

(A bay geegee, geddit?)

I insert Greater Manchester

An anvil drops from the sky and hits you on the head.
You hear canned laughter in the background.

I insert a D&D character sheet.

An anvil drops from the sky and hits you on the head.
You hear canned laughter in the background.

I insert a D&D character sheet.

You get +7 HP

I insert the Master Sword.

You revert back to your 8 year old self.

I insert a comb.

Your hair is brushed.

I insert fourteen different colours of mauve.

The retro-purple frorum theme pops out

I insert this smiley: ":D"

You get a lifetime's supply of colons and capital Ds

I insert a brightly-coloured plastic motorbike.

You get a Tiny Wario. Actually, you get a whole lot of Tiny Warios.

I insert Red.

The machine gives you blue.

I insert this: http://www.mytempdir.com/2003797
I found the music myself hidden in the computer.

you get a "not found" error

i insert this message
:p

you get a "not found" error

i insert this message
:p

You get a LULZ from Anonymous.

I insert the pieces of an exploded van.

You are hacked and buy a dog

I insert the dog

A chew toy pops out.

I put in a QWERTY.

You get AZERTY!

I insert a crapload of funny flash files.

You get Newgrounds. Also known as a crapload of unfunny flash files.

I insert Pluto.

You get the "on the moon" series from weebls-stuff.co.uk

I insert a Badger

You get the "on the moon" series from weebls-stuff.co.uk

I insert a Badger

You get a Mushroom and a Snake.

I insert two talking eggs and a pie.

You get THIS (http://www.weebls-stuff.com/toons/blimp/) !!!! (don't breathe it in tough!)

you get a TIME PARADOX, since nothing was inserted.

I insert a CHURRO.

A plate of mexican rice falls out.

I put in the rice.

you get a swearing mexican.

I insert a beard

you get a swearing mexican.

I insert a beard

You get a dwarf with a scottish accent.

I insert a garden gnome.

you get: A GARDEN! :eek:

You get a slap, for not inserting anything... AGAIN.

I insert Cisken's testicles.

(sorry, I always forget)

You get nothing for slapping cisken!

I insert a BIG GIANT HEAD!!!

You get a pack of magic beans and a totally confused golden goose.

I insert Worms 5 for the PlayStation 9. (That time paradox is still mucking around)

You get a pack of magic beans and a totally confused golden goose.

I insert Worms 5 for the PlayStation 9. (That time paradox is still mucking around)

You get Worms 1 for the Playstaion 15 (AHHHH! PARADOX ATTACK!)

I insert a Smoke Ball power-up (from Smash bros Brawl)

You get a SLAP cause your GHEY

I insert Splinter's bad memory of what he's supposed to be doing here.

And you get..

a clouded jelly! Wait.. no...

I insert thomasp, AndrewTaylor and Spadge.

this sounds fun.

You get a.. uh.. a lot of dung!

I shall insert.. a cube of ice that is at a 100 degrees celcius!

And you get.. Nothing!

I shall insert.. MYSELF.

You are eaten by the machine, YOU LOSE, GOOD DAY, SIR!


I insert a bad joke.

You get lotsa' wonderful criticism.

You are eaten by the machine, YOU LOSE, GOOD DAY, SIR!

Owhh.. I shall insert your hat once I revive!

You... well, you do nothing. The clerics haven't arrived yet.

/insert +3 Longsword.

You get a confused sperm whale.

I insert a bowl of petunias.

You get a third bad Douglas Adams reference.

I insert a rubber chicken.

You get a sign saying 'Nice try'

I insert a salmon of doubt

you get a sole of truth.

I put in an old "Information Society" CD.

you get a sole of truth.

I put in an old "Information Society" CD.

You get an "A" in Maths and Physics and a "B" in English

I insert a Lemming

you get a fine Ratatouille.

I insert Rikachan's love for Kelster.

Plasma appears and gives everybody a smack in the face.

I put in a lump of grotty AK47 triggers in lard.

Plasma appears and gives everybody a smack in the face.

I put in a lump of grotty AK47 triggers in lard.

you get a wierd look by the machine itself

i insert one of wayne rooney's shoes

The machine emits a poisonous gas.

I put on a gas mask, walk up to the machine, and insert a television.

you get a rainbow in 1080pixels.

I insert my being-watched status.

You get banned for dissin' your status, bro!

I insert a "bro",bro!

And get hit in the face with a sausage.

And it wasn't even pork.


I put in a spider-pig.

harry plopper pops out and bites you in the nose

You run away in tears

I insert my "callmaster IV" phone I'm using at work

you get a phone bill of $1,000,000 some dollars or whatever your currency is

i stick in a http://forum.team17.co.uk/images/icons/icon10.gif
:p

you recieve a sad smiley:( with a sighn that says "happy opposite day"


I insert my homework.

Look, we've gone over this enough times as it is! If you insert nothing, you get nothing!

I insert a rake.

A spade shoots out and smacks you in the face.

I insert a grain of sand.

Look, we've gone over this enough times as it is! If you insert nothing, you get nothing!

I insert a rake.

I inserted homework, did you read it.

A spade shoots out and smacks you in the face.

I insert a grain of sand.

you get a broken hour glass that cuts you

I insert a live mouse.

The machine hates all forms of animal cruelty. So it spits thousands of kilograms of dead rotting mice and little skeletons and blood all over you, not stopping until you die.

I put in a cake.

You get a bout of depression, because now you don't have cake anymore.

I insert a telegraph.

I inserted homework, did you read it.
:mad:

You get a new package of printer paper.

I insert a light bulb.

Plainplane :)

you get a very bright orb about the size of your fist.

I insert a box of paper clips.

You get a box made out of paper clips. Just like the one that you would have made out of those clips had you more spare time.

I insert a clock.

You receive a cd containing only one track, which is: the time warp.

I insert a can of Bissell Carpet Cleaner

you get a dirty carpet and wish that you still had that can of Bissell carpet cleaner.

I insert a painting of mona lisa

Mona Lisa comes out but it turns out he's just a cross dresser, better luck next time.

I insert the blood of my enemies.

You insert your entire enemies bodies, because you were'nt quite strong enough to make them bleed. :(
You get a jar of salsa dip! ...ew.

I insert my fist.

Your fist turns into a hook. Strangely you also develop a bad side and a need to be at sea.

I insert a disgusting can of red bull.

I inserted homework, did you read it.

There was a joke in Plasma's post. Read it and see if you can spot it.



You recieve a small bottle filled with caffeine.

I insert a jar of ants.

ARRRGH! A swarm of killer ants swarms over your face, and into your cranium! You head exlpodes! http://www.planet-eggplant.com/xinos/worm_gifs/roboworms_Bang.gif

I put in your newly-popped face.

Out comes a flattened out William Shatner mask used in Halloween.

I insert two of every animal.

You get assaulted by Greenpeace members.

I insert the machine into a BlendTec blender (http://ie.youtube.com/results?search_query=Will+it+blend&search=Search).

You get a miniature red model of greenland! Trouble is, you swallow it and die.

I put in a miniature blue model of the former yugoslav republic of macedonia! (no particulat reason, it just has a long name)

A CAN OF MACE IN THE FACE!!!!

I insert your burned eyeballs.

You get a note saying "Hello World."

I put in a rusty spoon.

Out comes Bullet Bill and he seems to think you cheated on him with his wife.

I insert the forbidden fruit.

Ooooh, what's that sound? http://i154.photobucket.com/albums/s258/Robowurmz/Uhoh.gif

I put in the mine.

You get a brand new mine that has not been activated - shortly before the machine explodes.

I insert a fire extinguisher.

Plainplane :)

You put the fire extinguisher in the machine's burnt ashes.
It just sits there...
Doing nothing...
But sitting...
Not moving...
Yup...


A plot device appears and dispenses a new vending machine! Yay, plot devices!
I insert the ash-covered fire extinguisher into this new vending machine.