Some people seem to think that speaking in the English of the 16th - 17th centuries consists of adding "est" and "eth" on to the end of random words (be they nouns, verbs, adjectives, or adverbs), and using "ye" and "thou" and "thee" interchangeably in place of "you". So I decided to make a guide to correct such people.

1. Second person singular pronouns:
thou: Nominative case (the thing/person performing the action)
thee: Objective case (the thing to which the action is directed)
thy/thine: Genitive case (possessive case, second person equivalent to my/mine)

2. Second person plural pronouns:
ye: Nominative case (defined above)
you: Objective case only
your/yours: Same as present day English

3. "thou", "thee", "thy/thine" and "ye", "you", "your/yours" are not interchangeable.

4. The verb ending "est" or "st" should only be added to the end of verbs in the present tense singular second person conjugation (in normal English, this means talking about the person you're talking to about something that is happening now) as in "Thou slayest."

5. The verb ending "eth" should only be used where the verb ending "s" or "es" would be used in present day English, as in "He slayeth."

6. "art" should only be used in the singular second person present tense.

7. "Extra" words for where, here, and there:
whence (from where): Origin, as in "Whence comest thou?"
where: Location, as in "Where art thou?"
whither (to where): Destination, as in "Whither goest thou?"

hence (from here): Origin.*
here: Location.
hither (to here): Destination.

thence (from there): Origin.**
there: Location.
thither (to there): Destination.

*Note: "hence" can also mean "from now" or "from this time", as in "henceforth".
**Note: "thence" can also mean "from then" or "from that time" as in "thenceforth".

8. The word "ye" as an old spelling for "the" comes from the fact that "th" was represented in Old and Middle English by a single letter, called "thorn"(Þþ). When the printing press was invented, there was nothing available to print "thorn"(Þþ), so they had to use "y" instead, before they decided to use "th" to represent that sound. So "ye" as in "the" should be pronounced the same as "the" (e.g. "Ye Olde Booke Shoppe" should be said "The Old Book Shop").

Exercise 1: using those tips above, translate this Old English text into modern English.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/0/08/Beowulf.firstpage.jpeg

Thy doest noteth understandeth thisest thredeth.

8. The word "ye" as an old spelling for "the" comes from the fact that "th" was represented in Old and Middle English by a single letter, called "thorn"(Þþ). When the printing press was invented, there was nothing available to print "thorn"(Þþ), so they had to use "y" instead, before they decided to use "th" to represent that sound. So "ye" as in "the" should be pronounced the same as "the" (e.g. "Ye Olde Booke Shoppe" should be said "The Old Book Shop").

Ooooh... Now that's an interesting bit.

Exercise 1: using those tips above, translate this Old English text into modern English.
[Image containing Old English text]
Exercise 1: Re-read the top of my post, and realize that I was talking about 16-17th century English, not 6th-11th century English.
Thy doest noteth understandeth thisest thredeth.
That should have been "Thou understandest not this thread."

That should have been "Thou understandest not this thread."

I don't think he was actually trying :P

thee thread art possibly ye most stupid thread ever. please close this most epically pointless waste of space.

Online Orgy equaleth not Anything Goes.

I fartest on thy thread.

I really did not expect it to get so many replies.

Exercise 1: Re-read the top of my post, and realize that I was talking about 16-17th century English, not 6th-11th century English.

Exercise 2: Realise that Plasma was actually mocking the thread in general.

Thys thread hast captured mine attentions, though 'twas that they were wasted.

(Yes, I meant to spell "This" as "Thys". This is in fact a correct mode of writing "This" in Old English; quite often y was used interchangably with i. If you don't believe me, you could always read some Shakespeare (though this is newer Old English).)

To Plasma: I can only decipher some words. As far as I can tell, the narrator appears to be talking about the use of money.

I really did not expect it to get so many replies.When you began writing this post, seven replies have been posted. Seven.

Why would you bother to sit down and type out a long opening post if you're expecting fewer than seven replies?

This annoys me too, but seriously, get thee* a blog like everyone else.

___________________

*Not Old English; just Yorkshire.