See this thread over at Dream17: http://www.dream17.co.uk/forum/viewtopic.php?t=250&sid=6603bf3dabc1989cd86e699a58f57278

Now go ahead and post limericks about things that have happened to you recently. Feel free to go off topic occasionally but please try not to stay there.

BTW you can ONLY reply in the form of a limerick.

I'm sitting here reading a thread
When I ought to be going to bed.
"A poem request?
I'll give it my best."
But I was too tired to make it rhyme properly.

It may differ in Britain, but in my dialect 'Katie' and 'lady' rhyme.

There once was a girl they called Katie
who was what a beautiful lady,
and she stole all my heart
and then tore it apart,
and instead went for somebody shady.

There once was a man from Nantucket...

I'm mad to give sleep no attention,
And it never on my list gets a mention.
Whilst beserk, rest I shirk,
It affects me at work.
Will it ever be more than intention?

What's a limerick? I ask myself,
Pick the dictionary from the shelf.
A-A-B-B-A, that is the trick,
That's needed to form a limerick.

I have no clue 'bout poetric meter,
Nor do I know what's an anapaest.
The term amphibrachys I don't know either,
And make a crippled sonnet with the rest.

This is my poem but I suck at rhyming
With my poor grammer and horriable timing.
Im done.
Yes son.
fun bun lung sung pun

This is my poem but I suck at rhyming
With my poor grammer and horriable timing.
Im done.
Yes son.
fun bun lung sung pun
Slick's a worse poet than me.
This is a guarantee.
I mean, I might suck
But I look like a truck
Compared to his idiocy.

[all in good fun, mate, don't take this too seriously]

I may suck like you've just said
But I'm not the one whos going to be dead
Thats right you've guessed it foo
Im going to be beat the hell out'a you
Then throw ya in a lake with you full of lead.

-I know >: D
but lets have some fun. And I know thats not a good rhyme scheme or whatever...but the words sound alike :p

There once was a man from Hull,
who was chased round a yard by a bull.
The bull gave two snorts,
and blew off his shorts,
then he fell and cracked open his skull.

:(

By a friend I was once told,
that I could get some of my items sold,
if I set up a bazaar somewhere in town,
where hopefully my charecter by other players would be found
But nothing got bought and I was left out in the cold.

That sort of rhymed =)

Either you've all had far too much coffee,
Or you can't keep a metre for toffee.
(Or even for fudge,
If you're bearing a grudge,
And feeling a little ticked-offy.)

My exams are over, it's true,
With luck I might just get 2:2,
But it's all in the air,
To be perfectly fair,
'Cause I really do not have a clue.

This is plainly boring,
And somehow torturing,
Since poems make me sick
and I just wanna pick
something that's actually amusing.

I live in boring old Norway,
where the only way is the snore way.
We only have cheese.
The snow makes you sneeze,
and the prices make you blurt out, "No way!"

All right, who deleted my post?
I guarantee, you will be toast.
I wrote something here,
Its message was clear,
And now it's been set out to roast.

Your post deleted?
Only limericks are allowed.
Was your post correct?

That was a haiku.
Written by Pigbuster. HA.
Not limerick? Oh well.

Your post deleted?
Only limericks are allowed.
Was your post correct?
Perhaps a mod is a prude.
Perhaps I was slightly too crude.
I'll go all around
Till my post I have found
Then post something really rude.

While going to get some clean towels,
I needed to empty my bowels.
So I got my dad's shoe,
and filled them with poo,
And then got kicked out the house. :(

That's a silly accent in Hull!
When will you learn that it's dull?
"Bowels" won't rhyme
with "house", you slime!
Your limericks're equal to null!

My finances put me to shame,
But I have naught but myself to blame.
We're short sixty quid
And, like an invalid,
I spent £15 on a new game.

So now we can't quite pay the rent,
'Cos of the excess cash that I've spent.
If we can't find the money,
Ray won't find it funny.
And next week I sleep under a fence.

Ben, what on Earth have you done?
Putting life and its matters after fun?
I expected more,
So next time be sure,
Not to squander your cash in the sun.

If you're using the dosh that you've earned,
To satisfy whims, you'll get burned.
Put the basics before,
And your hobbies, ignore.
I hope this life lesson you've learned.

Lurking in this mad sanatorium,
I did chance upon comedy aurum.
With a bump to the forum
I defied common decorum,
Now awaiting a ban from the quorum.

What interests me of this thread
Is the presence of a person now dead.
Not "dead" per se
in the usual way,
But ejected with no one in his stead.

I saw a thread where you had to post a limerick,
And I thought "This is quite a neat gimmick",
So I made one today,
But to my dismay,
I ended up looking like a pillock.

I have to head over to my school,
And sit on an uncomfortable stool,
To work on an project,
'Till I get a sore neck,
I am just an droning tool.

The limericks awful and dirty
Contained in this thread make me shirty.
I'd lock the whole thread
But Star Worms would see red.
I wish it had stayed on page thirty.

A joke at Star Worms' expense,
Is bound to make the guy tense.
But odds are he won't know
As he no longer posts
As he's left in search of common sense.

Pineapple on pizza is swell,
For me, it mixes quite well,
But Ben thinks I'm strange,
He implores me to change,
Why? I'm not sure I can tell.

Your choice of topping I deplore,
And I think I shall stand it no more.
Yet you sit and you boast
With your honey on toast
(Which is another thing I abhor).

I felt like posting a rhyme
as I have a little spare time
with nothing to do
I'm torturing you
with poetry not worth a dime.

:p

Your choice of topping I deplore,
And I think I shall stand it no more.
Yet you sit and you boast
With your honey on toast
(Which is another thing I abhor).

For honey on toast I don't care,
That's Euan you're looking for there,
But I still respect,
His right to select,
Any spreads that he cares to prepare

this constant talk of nutrition
has me demanding petition
to stop all this noise
change subject now, boys
or vengeance will become my mission

:p