http://forum.team17.co.uk/showthread.php?t=19099

This thread is comedy gold. I think we would do well to start a new one like it. Problem is, we never completely finished (started?) it, and as a result it didn't quite get to a good ending (although the current ending is pretty good). So let's try again. This time, I've mentioned the "beginning" of the thread. Here's the "last" post:

Oh, I did not need to hear that. Please keep that sort of thing to yourself in the future.

Fact remains, this thread has become so far derailed that I'm just going to have to ask AndrewTaylor to close it. It's rather ridiculous that a thread about jumproping could have gone to the point where we heard *shudder* that, but I guess that's how it is sometimes.

As Zero would say... http://forum.team17.co.uk/showpost.php?p=289367&postcount=100

I'm not sure what I can say to that, although I believe Zero summed it up accurately once with a drawing. Could someone ferret it out, please?

That is crap for art work. I hope you burn in hell. :mad:

Ugh. Man, I really didn't need to know that.

Anyhow, I got bored and banged this together in a couple of minutes or so.

Now that's just wrong.

On a related note, I wonder how many Optimus Primes you could fit into one picture, and still have it look good?

I'm pretty sure that cheese is made from the intestines of a bemused man from Cheddar.

Yeah...that would taste good and all...but cheese would taste so MUCH better than that.
I wonder where cheese comes from anyways. :-/

Wow, that really happened? All I remember was eating a chocolate covered pineapple.

Oh, god, it must have been really uncomfortable for you to sit down for at least a week! I haven't heard of a worse food-related accident since we had to take StarWorms to Accident and Emergency when he thought he was having pregnancy cravings. He still isn't right today.

I was approached by some guy the other day trying to get me to compare the taste of roast baby against cheese on Rivita.

----

OT: LOL, Paul. That was clever.

You think that's something? Last week, I attended the annual "Four on the Floor" competition, a marathon sitting contest. I had managed to hold out for 170 hours, with a few nap breaks, and there were only five of us left.

Suddenly, somebody ran up behind me and conked me over the head with a can of Easy Cheese. The entire can exploded onto my head, getting all over my hair and clothes. The impact knocked me right off my chair and I was disqualified. Needless to say, I was absolutely livid.

Dude stop spaming in my thread you jerk! :mad:

Stop the spam or else I will have no choice but to lock this thread.



... WOOO HOOO! GO FREAKING MAC GO!

See!? I dont want it to close.
Gah, bad news everyone...me and my brother were playing around with pasta action figures we made out of glue...and I fell on some facile...you know...the squiggly noodle kind.
Right up the you know where. I am stuck sitting here for like...7 days till I heal a bit.

Bananas bananas bananas bananas bananas bananas bananas bananas bananas bananas bananas bananas bananas bananas bananas bananas bananas bananas bananas bananas bananas bananas bananas bananas bananas bananas bananas bananas bananas bananas bananas bananas bananas!!!!!!!!!!!

My brother's birthday is coming up soon, any tips on what I can get him?

We're really getting off-topic, wasn't this originally about pineapples?

I advise against doing that, you'd get banned.

In response to StarWorms' question: He might but it would depend on the circumstances.

Suppose I went to Sel's house and surreptitiously put a flaming bag of poo on his doorstep for an April Fool's joke. I think he'd find it rather hilarious, don't you?

Lay off the specific quotes and so forth, they can really slow the thread down. I mean, they're good every once in a while, but still.

Yeah I too wonder what T17 will do this year... What was it last year? They said realistic weapons where taken out of the game because of it upsetting people? ;D

Don't worry, we've got something cool planned this year ;)

As for the Teamsters... well, I really couldn't say.

April is VD Awareness Month. Ben, what will Dream17 be doing?

Nah, I can't see that happening. They're far too big.

In other news, it turns out that I have VD. :(

Yeah, I heard that too. I also heard that a tribe of giants from the nothern wastes of canada will be attending this year.

That sounds all good and well, but I'm nervous about a rumor that a tribe of giants from Peru might be planning on crashing the party.

Hey all, I know this is way off topic but I'm planning on heading over to creamfields again this year if anyone else is interested in going.

Please stop spamming. Does anyone else think that thomasp will close this thread?

COLOSTOMY BAG PLEASE, WITH FAT CHIPS!11onoenlololololeeeerks!1one

Nope, it seems that she isn't all that interested in me after all. Yesterday when I tried to talk to her, she just ignored me the whole time. Did I try too hard? I am torn; I just got back from crying into my pillow.

Seriously (and don't screw around here), what can I do? I need help. :(

I predict that I will give two pieces of advice in the same post shortly.

FutureWorm, seriously, you have to get over this ludicrous crush. She's a store dummy, for crying out loud!

I can't stop thinking about her. She haunts my dreams every night. Every time I look through that display glass, I see her. I am completely addicted. Gah!

So how goes it with this girl you speak of? You've seen her at the mall every day for so long... Maybe you should make a move?

FutureWorm, do you recall the law that was passed a few months ago that said if anyone shouted something in public they'd be forced to work in a shop and be made to look stupid? Well I think the girl you just told us about might have had that happen to her.

So there's this girl I know. She is so amazingly good-looking, but not always the best at holding her tongue. Last week, she shouted twelve different swear words, in alphabetical order, at the top of her lungs.

Since then, I have only seen her at the mall. Funnily enough, she is always in the front display window of Express.

Well, no, I had to dump her after that. Honestly, it's unbelievable! The last fourteen girls I've been out with didn't even know the alphabet! How is that even possible?

PS. Please don't all immediately show off that your girlfriends know the alphabet. That would be petty and immature.

So did everything turn out well with the girl? Iirc, you described the date as shocking, amazing and incredible all in one.

My advice to you is not to go to Savalido's in town. I've just got back from a date there and the food was shocking, and amazingly inedible.

I know what you mean. The coolest stuff is found in public toilets.

On another topic... Man... So I take this girl on a date, and the food was all just WAY too good. I mean, it was like she enjoyed it. I'm so disappointed. :(

Hmm, I don't think that was one of your best ideas.

On a brighter note, I found one of those little transformer toys at the train station toilets. It's fun!

A couple of days ago I got drunk and ate a tine Optimus Prime action figure. It really hurt this morning when it came out again, but I didn't miss my train! Oh, yes indeed.

Oh, you have one too? I've been hearing loads about these Tine™ brand action figures, but I've never actually seen one in person. I suppose they're rather nice, no?

OMG! Really? I was just there! That's where I bought my new Tine brand action figure.

Earlier this morning I went to Paul's Fun Stop to get some candy. It was bizarre; I saw someone there who looked just like SomePerson. Weird.

Thanks, yes, I am very pleased with my new chain of Fun Stop shops.

Yes, that was a crazy story.

Anyways, I've gone to one of these shops called Paul's Fun Stop. They're mighty nice.

Well I don't know much about the sexual habits of rats but I can tell you something interesting about dogs. Did you know they prefer lime trouser legs to yellow ones? I think it has something to do with their eyesight. Heh, reminds me of that time when I saw a canine conga line at a '70s disco. I don't know many wacky stories but THAT was a crazy one!

I'm going on holiday soon and I need to pick up a few things. Can anyone recommend any mobile joke shops in Newcastle? Don't ask why ;)

My house has never been invaded by rats. However, I guess if you leave it lying all around the house, it's inevitable, especially considering how they breed like rabbits.

I can't beleive it, I just moved into my new place and there are rat droppings everywhere. I've put down rat poison but they just seem to keep coming back, and now I have to go around collecting dead rats from every nook and cranny :(

Now that sounds nasty. I haven't heard many stories about worse houses than that... wow.

Pfft, you think THAT was a nasty house?! I went to my friend's house the other day, and he had an NSYNC poster on his wall! It was absolutely horrible! God, I'm STILL in utter horror...

I found a crumb at my friend's house yesterday.

On the worktop.

Oh no!

I've lost my crumb.:eek:

One thing I really hate about bread is how it leaves crumbs all over the place.

Well, it's a similarity between Philby and bread, certainly, but it's by no means the only one.

Speaking of OD personality traits, has anyone noticed that when philby posts something it goes stale within a couple of days? He's a bit like bread. Also bread is boring.

Good point. And I thought I was the only one who noticed.

Has anyone else noticed Futureworm is a moron?

FutureWorm is a moron.

I'm glad FutureWorm's stopped doing silly things.

Hey, Futureworm stopped doing silly things!

Yeah, FutureWorm probably did that.

Oh, that FutureWorm and his silly things.

Someone did something silly today :-/

Yeah...well have fun scraping that off. :confused:

LMAO! Futureworm just sent me a sound clip on MSN of him farting the alphabet!:D

Smarties? Are you serious!?

In other news, I ran over a badger on the way to work today. It made a right mess.

Dude, don't be such a jerk. He can't help he is a narcoleptic.:(


Pfft...but anyways...I fed my pet cat that just so happens looks like a badger, a HUGE pack of smarties. Unfortunatly...it went psycho...and ran away.:(

Shove it up your ass.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

I got one, I got one. So I was walking down the street, and...

I'm sure we had a thread for that somewhere.

Dammit, a negative event just occured!

I think I just shat myself....

I had Andy Davidson's lovechild!

I AM ANDY DAVlDSON'S LOVE CHILD!

Except that's physically impossible to do with a shovel. And you certainly couldn't have kids afterwards, Andy. If that is your real name.

So, I was outside digging a hole in the garden for a tree and put the shovel on the ground against a rock. I didn't exactly think about the wind, and no sooner had I stood up, the tree was blown onto the shovel, causing it to somersault in the air before hitting my groin.

And what happenned after you killed the werewolf?

We used a telescope light amplification chamber.

But how could you tell it was a werewolf from that distance?

Don't get me wrong, I'm all for animal rights and stuff but we thought it best we shoot it before it reached the swimming pool. The rest of the day was mediocre in comparison.

Christ guys! Don't you think the poor thing had a right to live?! How can you go on with your day after something like that?!?!?

Yeah well...it was so asking for it. :mad:

Some guy in a Werewolf suit ran in my yard the other day. We shot at it in an attempt to save the children.

That's a coincidence. We had a problem with dodgy neighbours recently, too. Pickleworm can tell you about it, I'll tell him to come post.

ARGH!!! Every time I open my curtains there some dodgey freak standing outside in his dressing gown... its realy getting to me!

I got a new dressing gown the other day. I like to wear it around town and stare into people's windows. It really freaks them out.

By the way: Gross.

What's that word that's like the opposite of "net"? I just can't for the life of me remember it.

Maybe Eddie Izzard's outlet for vanity is his transvestism. It so clearly manifests itself in that way that we ignore it without thinking. At least he's not doing a Cher concert in stockings. Why the sudden interest in clothing?

That's nothing compared to Eddie Izzard. If someone makes a post about Eddie Izzard's clothing, I will shoot myself, I swear.

Im sure he didnt mean to. After all, he never wears underwear.

Slick keeps talking about himself in the third person, and yesterday he flashed me. I'm scarred for life.

I've heard there's a new trend for genital piercings with razor blades attached. Has anyone heard about that?

Or even seen one?

Yeah, that's why I left her.

Well, that and the genital piercings.

FutureWorm, was that your girlfriend I saw chasing you down the street trying to pierce your arm with a broadsword?