There's a very worrying metalic burning smell coming from the floor boards at the bottom of my stairs.

No sign of smoke yet.

Any ideas?

Infrared goggles?

Heat vision, surely, or does infa-red do that as well as night-vision?

Still, burning, by the by.

Yeah, infrared does it. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thermographic_camera)

Who knew.

Well, you did, but that's besides the point.

I saw a wild-life program where they shone an invisible infra-red light at a bunch of lions and recorded them with a special camera.

This is quite facsinating now that the source of the burning has been found and nutralised.

Well, as long as your house isn't on fire (which I initially might thought to be the case, but then you wouldn't come into OD to say "Help, my house is burning down and I am MINUTES FROM DEATH!!").

This is quite facsinating now that the source of the burning has been found and nutralised.

Not going to elaborate on that? It can't be that boring! :p

Old radiator in a little-used room leaked ever-so-slightly for a long time. Light fitting in room below slowly accumulated water. The fitting shorted, or arced or whatever, and slowly went crispy.

It was probably smouldering for a while, but the smell didn't quite permiate through the carpet untill a couple of hours ago.

Yeah, tomorrow we're doing some re-wiring. and possably some plumbing.:p

>down
>look

http://imgred.com/http://imagecache2.allposters.com/images/pic/DES/D834~Smokey-Bear-Only-You-Posters.jpg

You could call the fire department?

Thanks for your timely problem solving, Xinos! :p

Over here it's more of a brigade than a department.

An emergency service rather than a showroom.

Thanks for your timely problem solving, Xinos! :p
Well, he's still got a point.

Yes, let's bother the emergency services over a fairly minor electrical fault.

Generally you call 999 when there's actual visible fire, ash and smoke involved.

Or when your cat's climbed a tree.

You know, important stuff.

So what exactly turned out to be the root cause?

Old radiator in a little-used room leaked ever-so-slightly for a long time. Light fitting in room below slowly accumulated water. The fitting shorted, or arced or whatever, and slowly went crispy.

It was probably smouldering for a while, but the smell didn't quite permiate through the carpet untill a couple of hours ago.

Yeah, tomorrow we're doing some re-wiring. and possably some plumbing.:p
aparantly this is too short.

i read thread good http://img339.imageshack.us/img339/3964/emotdohtr7.gif

CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT! AND FAST! http://img379.imageshack.us/img379/6499/ahhh1gv.gif

For future reference, I suggest chopping off an arm. You'll forget about the fire for at least a little while.

Well are you going to call the fire department or what.

We're too late. He's already dead.

Or... y'know... just not here.

Yeah, infrared does it. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thermographic_camera)

Trust me on this: buying near-infrared imaging equipment can get you a lot of unwelcome attention from the American military.

Trust me on this: buying near-infrared imaging equipment can get you a lot of unwelcome attention from the American military.

Why, are they looking too recruit personnel that is able to operate such equipment?

http://www.hoagieshouse.com/IR/

Why, are they looking too recruit personnel that is able to operate such equipment?

No, they just know what nefarious ends it can be put to and routinely check up on anyone buying it in or from the US.

We're too late. He's already dead.

Or... y'know... just not here.

I's a very slow fire.

It's roughly halfway up the stairs now.

I's a very slow fire.

It's roughly halfway up the stairs now.
You should contact your local library then. :-/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slow_fire

I's a very slow fire.

It's roughly halfway up the stairs now.

Hrrm. Have you tried putting it out?

PHILYBY! YOUR HOUSE IS ON FIRES!! :D
We don't need no waterl et the morther fudger born. :cool:

Hrrm. Have you tried putting it out?

My arms now end in chared lumps.

THANKS.


(I sharpened them so I could type again.)

:rolleyes: call the fire department

Yeah, continue to ignore everyone's advice in this thread. Since you are unable to put the fire out yourself, call a trained professional.

Tell ya what, let me lend you a hand. Gimme 3 days and I'll be right there for ya, man.

You've got exatly 64 hours before I die of slow smoke inhaleation.

The slow Firebrigade are all busy in london, putting out peoples ciggaretes, muttering 'never again' and twitching.


I called the tiny firebrigade, but it turns out they're an obscure joke from Big Train.

The forum can be closed down now. We have our Best Poast Maekd.

You've got exatly 64 hours before I die of slow smoke inhaleation.

The slow Firebrigade are all busy in london, putting out peoples ciggaretes, muttering 'never again' and twitching.


I called the tiny firebrigade, but it turns out they're an obscure joke from Big Train.Don't worry, I planted a bomb in your house, which will blow the roof off and release all the fumes!:cool::cool::cool::cool::cool:

I'm back home. There was this big watery thing in the way.

Edit: Wait! I'll mail some of the water to you. Do you think it'd be there overnight if I paid enough for it?

Send it over e-mail dude. It's like, INSTANTANEOUS. :eek:

throw your computer at the fire

*puts "House Burning Down" by Jimi Hendrix on*

Thanks, Starworms, nice save.

Unfortunately the hole in th roof isn't letting in enough rain to quench the slowfire.

I threw my computer in the fire,Angelus, it didn't apear to help.

Edit: D'oh! I should have opened up the attachment Zero sent me before I threw it.

I'm using the internet channel on my wii to type this. Unfortunately Nintendo didn't think to include suport for .wet files.

The fire seems to have sped up a little, as it's now only three steps from the top.

I cut the carpet off the top step, so that might thwart it for now.

And Dammit Blinx, this is serious. Stop mocking me with music.

:(

How can you deny Hendrix? :(

I have an idea! Move close to the beach so you can get water more easily! :D

Salt Water kills Trifids, not Slowfires.

It's gotten guite angry now, I think I Provoked it by cutting the carpet.

It seems to be trying for an alternate route via the walpaper.

Either send an e-mail (hard as you've just thrown your computer into the fire) to someone who cares, or phone this number: 0118 999 881 999 119 725......3

Fire is hot.

Na-ah! Fire is not hot. Look.
*puts hand on fire*
DAMN, IT IS HOT! :(
Slick, I shall never doubt your genius again. :(

Either send an e-mail (hard as you've just thrown your computer into the fire) to someone who cares, or phone this number: 0118 999 881 999 119 725......3
No amount of IT Crowd references will help me now.

Also, I've scraped the walpaper off, so I recon I've got this one licked.:)

But after it consumes the lower part of the house, won't that make the top half fall over the ashes of the first floor? Then you'll end up on a single floor house.

Worse, I'm stuck in the attic room.

It'll be a bungalowlow.:eek:

By my estimation I've got somewhere between a week and three months to get this under control.

> Look around

You see a bucket

> TAKE BUCKET

... the next line will be obvious to people who've spent too much time on the Interwebs.

Ye cannot get ye bucket

Someone be stealin' it.

No They Be Stealin Mah Bukkit

Wha bout teh Fooket?

Hey, I noticed that there is a lot of smoke coming from your house, Phil. I think it may be on fire. :confused:

Holy ****

Get The **** Out Of There You Stupid Idiot

Do you have any sand? I think sand is... well, it's... err, it's supposed to...

...Did you call the fire department?

My nearest Department Store doen't have a Fire Department.:(

On a similar subject... this is where my greatgreatgrandparents lived:

http://img201.imageshack.us/img201/1287/34flaxtonterraceoa9.jpg

They'd moved before the WW2 bomb hit it though.

I'm confused, is Philby's house going to be hit by a WW2 bomb?

Maybe that's how the fire started.

I'm confused, is Philby's house going to be hit by a WW2 bomb?Yes .

:eek: :eek: :eek:

Quick, Philby, hide under a table! That'll keep you safe.

Geez, it's been nearly 2 months since it began.

Take a picture and send it to guinness world records, quick!

Magnets! Really, really big magnets!

I'm pretty sure that bombs can cause fires. :confused:

Get out of your house before you catch fire.

I'm pretty sure that bombs can cause fires. :confused:

Yeah, but defibrillators can cause heart failure.

Looks like there's no option Philby...

You will have to take all your clothes off and perform a rain dance in public, with some other volunteers.

Looks like there's no option Philby...

You will have to take all your clothes off and perform a rain dance in public, with some other volunteers.
i'll do it

Thanks in no small part to mr Futureworm's experimental improvisational raindancing my house has been purged of Slowfire.

The resulting flooding destroyed london.

Thanks in no small part to mr Futureworm's experimental improvisational raindancing my house has been purged of Slowfire.

The resulting flooding destroyed london.

i guess this is a good thing? not sure

Ahh, London was asking for it.

Great, now who's going to host the olympics in 2012?
I say Futureworm hosts the olympics in his place since it was his fault.

i could try but i'm not sure that i'm a big enough venue

Has the fire left? Get out of the house if the fire has not left.

For christsakes call the fire department already.

For christsakes call the fire department already.
I thought he did, but they were too slow.

I can't anymore.

The slow Firebrigade perished along with most of london.

The tiny firebrigade are still an obscure Big Train sketch.

Reading this thread feels so much like watching Lost in so many completely different, yet elaborate ways that I want no part in it.

Was the fire intentional? Who started it? Is it all merely a sociological experiment? Is it really us who are through the looking glass and not Philby?! Should we be content with our unsuccessful attempts at putting it out or is there more to life? Aliens?

Will it ever end... :confused:

Was the fire intentional? Who started it? Is it all merely a sociological experiment? Is it really us who are through the looking glass and not Philby?! Should we be content with our unsuccessful attempts at putting it out or is there more to life? Aliens?

Will it ever end... :confused:

Just go with it :p

Was the fire intentional? Who started it? Is it all merely a sociological experiment? Is it really us who are through the looking glass and not Philby?! Should we be content with our unsuccessful attempts at putting it out or is there more to life? Aliens?

regardless, han shot first

Actually, it was Greedo but he had put the timer on. Just before the blaster fires, you can actually see the little flashes which indicate when to smile.

Doing some research for you, I discovered that water can actually put out a fire.:confused:
I hope this helps Phillby. :)

Doing some research for you, I discovered that water can actually put out a fire.:confused:
I hope this helps Phillby. :)

Given how resistant this fire has been to everything else, I'd be a bit skeptical of the power of water.

Maybe try gasoline instead?

Can I buy Gasoline at the fire department?

Hey, wasn't the fire put out? :confused:

Thanks in no small part to mr Futureworm's experimental improvisational raindancing my house has been purged of Slowfire.

Hey, wasn't the fire put out? :confused:
yeah, but there's no way of knowing for sure whether the fire is 100% gone (philby can you investigate this for me)

The fire is gone, but I fear it's return is inevitable.

This time I will be ready.:mad:

AHHH!
FIRE?!
I HOPE YOUR OK! :eek:
STOP. DROP. DINNER ROLL.

hOLY COW call the fire department

Call Batman!

Quick place a lot of Fire markers around your house!

Okay okay, the fire's turned a kind of blueish green now.

I think I may have a gas leak.:eek:

Okay okay, the fire's turned a kind of blueish green now.

I think I may have a gas leak.:eek:

That or your house has a lot of copper in it.

I think I may have a gas leak.:eek:

How do I get out of this chickens**t outfit?

So did he die in this fire or what?

I can only assume that the house burnt down around him, leaving him sitting at his computer surrounded by uninflammable objects.