Ok, where to start?

1. I use xp, which disagress with it to begin with, it seems. It takes about 5 seconds of black screen before I get from the front screen menu to whatever menu I clicked the button of.

2. When I try to install the 3.0 patch, it instead tries to install a program I used to have on my system, but which I don't have anymore (a d20 game character generator)

Any idea how I can fix either? I have a fairly high-end PC with a gig of ram, GeForce 6600gt graphics card and just general goodness.

Get the latest update & info about correctly patching the game here:
www.nanacide.com/wahelp

Afterwards, go to your install directory and double-click the SlowFrontendWorkaround_On.reg to get rid of the so-called "slow menu" bug (which appears with GF6600 cards drivers newer than 63.99).

Don't know why he tries to install a completely unrelated program when you want to install the v3.0 patch.
Maybe a virus or trojan? Redownload the patch from the official page (http://wa.team17.com/main.html?page=supp&area=patc&file=11).

I've activated the slow front end workaround, and that seems to have helped a little. However, a scan of my computer has turned up no malicious software. I still don't understand why it tries to install a different file (and somehow succeeds, despite the fact that I no longer have the download, having removed it from my computer)

Is there another way to patch up the game without having to unzip the patch in the usual way?

Is there another way to patch up the game without having to unzip the patch in the usual way?
Don't mix up "patch" and (beta) "update".
The v3.0 patch has an .exe installer.
The beta patches are compressed with 7zip.
http://www.7-zip.org/

I used Winzip to unpack the beta patch from the official website. I've turned on all the extras, after reinstalling it (turns out the Sold Out version doesn't require the 3.0 patch) but still I'm having the same problems. Oh, and the fact that I just get a blank screen whenever i try and actually play a game.

Check the FAQ at www.nanacide.com/wahelp.
I think adding the /nointro command (added to the desktop shortcut for example) helps with certain black screen issues.

So I change the shortcut on the desktop to "Worms Armageddon/nointro" and that works?

This might help:

I decided to press the three-fingered salute when the screen when blank, and task manager presented me with the list of programs running. It showed Worms Armageddon, the WA map being loaded, and (for some reason) Worms 2, despite the fact that I've deleted all trace of it from my hard drive.

So I change the shortcut on the desktop to "Worms Armageddon/nointro" and that works?
The traget of my desktop shortcut looks like this:
"E:\Games\Worms Armageddon\WA.exe" /nointro
It showed Worms Armageddon, the WA map being loaded, and (for some reason) Worms 2, despite the fact that I've deleted all trace of it from my hard drive.
This is normal.
W:A and WWP use the W2 engine afterall.

Hmmm, i tried to change the target, and it says that the target name is invalid. Apparently having "/" isn't allowed.

Having it inside the quotation marks isn't allowed. Outside is. And it works.

Edit: Nice one Run. You rock.

Go go gadget painfully obvious screenshot

Hmmm, i tried to change the target, and it says that the target name is invalid. Apparently having "/" isn't allowed.
Have you actually read my post?
The traget of my desktop shortcut looks like this:
"E:\Games\Worms Armageddon\WA.exe" /nointro

Wait...is there a space I see there after the quotation marks and before the / ?
Because if there is, then that may be the problem. I was trying without a space. Too used to HTML.

Wait...is there a space I see there after the quotation marks and before the / ?
Because if there is, then that may be the problem. I was trying without a space. Too used to HTML.
Yes, there is a space between the quatation mark and the backslash.
Without it you get the error.

Right, I've tried that, and I still get a blank screne when it tries to create the game.Looking through my WA file I tried looking in the "Landgen" notepad file, only to discover that there was nothing there. Is this normal? (I highly doubt it)